The Greatest Movie I've Never Seen

Star Crash is the greatest movie of all time.

Once in awhile you see a movie that's got it all. Unfortunately I haven't seen that movie, but I have seen its trailer.

The trailer is a strange collage of time periods and genres. The title cards are pure 50's sci-fi.

"You are about to be hurled..."

"Through the blackness of a hundred million nights..."

"Into the farthest reaches of space and time!"

Sounds good to me.

This trailer really does have it all.

Spaceships,

Lasers,

Babes,

Babes with robots,

Babes holding other babes captive,

Cavemen,

Robots fighting cavemen,

Everything. Even Christopher Plummer!

What this trailer does best is hit you with cool imagery.

Dig these rad effects...

There's an occasional homage to other films (that's a nice way of putting it), like 2001,

Star Wars (just a bit),

Zardoz,

and Jason and the Argonauts. (Yes, those are robot nipples...)

There's some more Ray Harryhausen style animation in there as well.

Star Crash is either a lost classic or a debacle. I'd better not ruin this movie by actually seeing it.